The Chasers look at Equine Flu
**A light hearted look at Equine Flu from the notorious "Chasers"**
While the racing world reels from the devastating effects of equine flu, there is one group feeling optimistic about the future. "It's a shame those trainers and horse owners have lost millions of dollars," said gambling addict Tommy Vincent. "But on the plus side, my son can get those braces he needs."
"Die, you four-legged homewreckers," screamed housewife Flo Black, whose husband routinely blows all his family's grocery-shopping money at the track, upon hearing of the viral outbreak. "Cough yourselves to death and rot in your mucous-ridden graves."
According to experts, horse flu has had the biggest impact on Australia's gambling industry since a group of Victorian poker machines caught a computer virus in 2001. "Just like those days, we can look forward to seeing a rise in family boardgame nights and a decrease in drunken arguments and barrel-wearing," said family psychologist Lyn Fields.
Other sectors are feeling the effects of the illness, with Federal Agriculture Minister Peter McGauran offering emergency relief packages to a number of milliners and fascinator designers. "These people are the forgotten victims of equine flu," he said. "Without racing carnivals, there's really no reason for anyone to wear the ridiculous headgear that is their bread and butter."
"It's a terrible shame about the horses - but at least I still have the dishlickers," said lovable punter Jack Bleakley, withdrawing a large sum of money from his wife's savings account. "All I need is one trifecta, and the kids'll be getting Christmas presents this year."
http://www.chaser.com.au/content/view/3462/228/
While the racing world reels from the devastating effects of equine flu, there is one group feeling optimistic about the future. "It's a shame those trainers and horse owners have lost millions of dollars," said gambling addict Tommy Vincent. "But on the plus side, my son can get those braces he needs."
"Die, you four-legged homewreckers," screamed housewife Flo Black, whose husband routinely blows all his family's grocery-shopping money at the track, upon hearing of the viral outbreak. "Cough yourselves to death and rot in your mucous-ridden graves."
According to experts, horse flu has had the biggest impact on Australia's gambling industry since a group of Victorian poker machines caught a computer virus in 2001. "Just like those days, we can look forward to seeing a rise in family boardgame nights and a decrease in drunken arguments and barrel-wearing," said family psychologist Lyn Fields.
Other sectors are feeling the effects of the illness, with Federal Agriculture Minister Peter McGauran offering emergency relief packages to a number of milliners and fascinator designers. "These people are the forgotten victims of equine flu," he said. "Without racing carnivals, there's really no reason for anyone to wear the ridiculous headgear that is their bread and butter."
"It's a terrible shame about the horses - but at least I still have the dishlickers," said lovable punter Jack Bleakley, withdrawing a large sum of money from his wife's savings account. "All I need is one trifecta, and the kids'll be getting Christmas presents this year."
http://www.chaser.com.au/content/view/3462/228/
posted by Horse Deals at
10:29 am
0 Comments
